Belinda "BJ" Allder

Belinda "BJ" Allder

4th May 1978 - 15th February 2012

I met BJ a long time ago. She was a good high school friend of my brother Andy and invited him to what became our local church. My sister Belinda began attending the youth group and church and I always went along and sat in the back seat of the car whenever my parents took them. They said when I was older I would be allowed to attend. When I was about 14 I started going to the youth group and then church a while later. BJ soon after began a discipleship group for myself and a few other girls and taught me a lot about what I now know about God and the bible. She was a great teacher but also cared about nurturing our relationship and the relationships we were developing with God. In 2001 BJ & Mel moved to the UK and upon their return BJ moved to Thailand to work as a missionary in a school in Northern Thailand. She came home a few times for visits and a number of people went to see her in Thailand. In late 2008 BJ came home for a visit and it was during that time that she discovered she had cancer in her liver. Being a secondary cancer, more tests were done and the primary cancer was eventually discovered in her bowel. Over approximately 2 years she uinderwent treatment, winning little battles along the way. If she was truly terrified or weak, she did not let it show. In late 2011 her cancer progressed quite quickly and early this year the decision was made to cease treatment and send her home to enjoy her final weeks with family and friends.

On the evening of 14th Feb as I sat and ate pancakes with my housemates, I received a text from Jackie letting me know BJ had passed away. It was unlike any moment I had experienced. I don't know what it was but I read the message, put my phone down and continued eating my pancakes. The closest thing I can describe the feeling as is blank! I had a couple of tears but it really unnerved me that I was feeling completely empty of emotion. I think it was a mixture of a number of things - shock; relief knowing she was no longer in pain; immense sadness; and pure peace, knowing that she was so confident in her faith and what was in store for her after life. Also, being in a completely removed environment from the situation made it unreal in a way.

I'm really grateful for the impact BJ had on mine and many others' lives. The light she shone was incredible. She will be sadly missed and always appreciated.