A few slices of pizza

Wednesday 15th February - I woke up for work still feeling quite odd and basically confused. I stayed fairly quiet at work that day, teary at times. In some way the timing of the situation was, for want of a better word, a blessing. Bek was at the end of her trip and was back in London for one night only before flying home. We, including Ally, just spent the evening together chatting and reminiscing before Bek and I headed back to my place.

Thursday 16th February - Well, there's nothing in my Google calendar so I guess I had a quiet night in.

Friday 17th February - After work I decided to head to Selfridges to spend my voucher I had received for my birthday. The place was so overwhelmingly large and just too much for me. I eventually found a Cath Kidston store inside where I spent my voucher and then some on a bunch of lovely things.

Saturday 18th February - I had a really lovely day with my friend Nikki, a friend from Contiki back home, who is now working for Contiki here. We went to see Chelsea Vs Birmingham FA Cup match where disappointedly we drew 1-1, a very poor result against this second grade team. After the game we browsed a few shops and went for a pizza. Then we decided to head into the city and see a show, why not?! There wasn't a lot of option let so we ended up at a comedy club where the only seats left were at the front! There's a reason why, you get absolutely slaughtered by the comedian. Poor Nikki was the main victim, but she's a good sport and took it well and we had a really good night.

Sunday 19th Febraury - I decided to make this day a bit of a memorial and reflection day, given the events of the last few weeks. Ally and I went to St. Paul's Cathedral for the morning church service. It was very proper but really good.

Monday 20th February - Over the next couple of days I worked from home to try and work solidly on our web project. Not sure what I got up to on the Wednesday, I guess a quiet night in.

Thursday 23rd February - In the evening I went to see the Artist and have some pizza with Charlie. It was really good and a well deserved winner of the best picture Academy Award.

Friday 24th February - I worked from home again as I had gotten up early to attend BJ's memorial service via the web. The world of technology! It was a lovely service.

Belinda "BJ" Allder

Belinda "BJ" Allder

4th May 1978 - 15th February 2012

I met BJ a long time ago. She was a good high school friend of my brother Andy and invited him to what became our local church. My sister Belinda began attending the youth group and church and I always went along and sat in the back seat of the car whenever my parents took them. They said when I was older I would be allowed to attend. When I was about 14 I started going to the youth group and then church a while later. BJ soon after began a discipleship group for myself and a few other girls and taught me a lot about what I now know about God and the bible. She was a great teacher but also cared about nurturing our relationship and the relationships we were developing with God. In 2001 BJ & Mel moved to the UK and upon their return BJ moved to Thailand to work as a missionary in a school in Northern Thailand. She came home a few times for visits and a number of people went to see her in Thailand. In late 2008 BJ came home for a visit and it was during that time that she discovered she had cancer in her liver. Being a secondary cancer, more tests were done and the primary cancer was eventually discovered in her bowel. Over approximately 2 years she uinderwent treatment, winning little battles along the way. If she was truly terrified or weak, she did not let it show. In late 2011 her cancer progressed quite quickly and early this year the decision was made to cease treatment and send her home to enjoy her final weeks with family and friends.

On the evening of 14th Feb as I sat and ate pancakes with my housemates, I received a text from Jackie letting me know BJ had passed away. It was unlike any moment I had experienced. I don't know what it was but I read the message, put my phone down and continued eating my pancakes. The closest thing I can describe the feeling as is blank! I had a couple of tears but it really unnerved me that I was feeling completely empty of emotion. I think it was a mixture of a number of things - shock; relief knowing she was no longer in pain; immense sadness; and pure peace, knowing that she was so confident in her faith and what was in store for her after life. Also, being in a completely removed environment from the situation made it unreal in a way.

I'm really grateful for the impact BJ had on mine and many others' lives. The light she shone was incredible. She will be sadly missed and always appreciated.

Sensory Overload

Friday 10th February - Got to the end of a shortish week and didn't have plans for the evening so I decided to go and see The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, yep on my own. I wonder what percentage of people are comfortable going to the movies alone because I know some people would never dream of it. I actually had not been to the movies once since I had arrived in London. It was really good! I did struggle slightly to keep up with who was who but to be honest that's not uncommon :) It is a pretty disturbing film but well worth a watch! Had a chat to the guy next to me, who was also there by himself and continued chattong back to the train station so that was nice.

Saturday 11th February - Such a mega day! Finally got to the Museum of Natural History to see the Wildlife Photographer of the Year Exhibition! I usually go back home in January with my parents so I was really pleased to see it on here. I like to choose a favourite, was so hard to pick so I ended up with 1 favourite, 2 runners up and about 8 or 9 highly commended HA! I also went up to the Vault and checked out the precious gemstones in the museum, so pretty! The whole experience just made my eyes so happy! After my culture fix, I headed to The Famous Three Kings pub for a different kind of culture, in the form of a green field, 22 men and a round object... football! Man Utd vs Liverpool, followed by Chelsea vs Everton. Chelsea were playing so horendously bad that when the score hit 2-0 I couldn't stay, it was too frustrating watching football suicide! That evening I got another fix in the form of a delicious juicy piece of steak! My housemate Romena works at the Argentinean Steakhouse up the road so I went along with a group of friends to check it out. Beef isn't the best here so I was completely in heaven to get a good piece of rib eye. Everyone seemed to be in heaven actually.

Sunday 12th February - Was supposed to go to Kew Gardens with Tim however it was raining and pretty miserable so we went for some sushi and to see a movie (yep, after 6 months I went twice in one weekend). This time the movie was Young Adult starring Charlize Theron. It is Tim liked it but I can't say I felt the same, I found it too depressing.

Tuesday 14th February - Valentine's Day, best one I've had I reckon! It was the season premiere of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding Season 2 and my house was excited. We had a huge spread of pancakes, which has become quite the tradition every 2nd night or so :-/ The show never fails to leave me with my jaw hanging wide open - from pineapple & palm tree dresses to big "sticky outy" communion dresses. My favourite quote of the night was when a little girl took her first communion and afterwards declared, in her strong Irish accent "I got Jesus in me mouth!". We also came up with the idea to have a big fat gypy houseparty and since then we've been thinking of the most outrageous and wonderful plans for the event. I think I might wear battery operated fairy lights covered with feathers. We also gave each other gypsy names. Basically it's mary + your name or if it doesn't sound right, your name + doll. Guys are just Paddy o'last name. Then we decided to make signs for our bedroom doors and by the end of the night we had craft supplies everywhere and 6 masterpieces.



Keep calm and carry on

I don't really want to go too much into it but I wasn't doing so well at the end of January / beginning of February. I went out for my birthday on Saturday 27th with some friends. As I mentioned in my last post, I wasn't entirely chirpy so I wasn't really in party-mode. Over the next week I had some really bad anxiety and panic episodes, and feeling really low. The hard thing I find about anxiety and feeling low is that when you're not in that state it's very easy to get complacent as you feel normal and no need to do healthy mind exercises and such. The problem comes though when something throws you into that place and you have no idea what the hell to do about it. Even after realising this, it's hard to change. Over the course of the week I slept a lot, worked solidly and tried to stay calm.

Saturday 4th February - I had the perfect evening to conclude the week. I went down to Bromley to visit the Mayo family. They were going out to mark the 1st anniversary of their time in the UK. The kids were excited to see me which was lovely, although Caitlyn seemed to be expecting someone else when I walked in as she was very confused. But it didn't take long before she was telling me she loved me and I was her best friend. We went to a Thai restaurant and had a lovely dinner, followed by dessert back at their place. The much anticipated snow arrived at 7pm (just 1hr off the forecast). We were at the restaurant at the time so it was very exciting and Chris took the kids outside to check it out. On my way back I checked my phone and it was -1 / feels like -7 and I kid you not there was a bunch of girls on the platform in hot-pants and mini-skirts and massive wedge heels. Yes, sometimes fashion comes at a cost, but not at the risk or getting hypothermia surely! Also, they didn't even look good!

Sunday 5th February - The snow had really set in overnight so Matt and I headed to Hyde Park to take some wintry photos. There was a cold snap all over Europe; Ally was in Munich with Bek, enduring and unbelievable -25! Amazing that that was the only really cold snap there's been, and it was so extreme! We had lunch at a pub and then headed to The Three Kings for the Chelsea vs. Man Utd match... which unfortunately ended in a 3-3 draw after Chelsea held a solid lead! Another disappointing result! Went to bed feeling pretty normal...

Monday 6th February - Woke up and my stomach was absolutely churning! It wasn't long before it was clear I had picked up a bout of foot poisoning! It was awful, fever, the works! On top of this, my loo was out of order, so I had to literally crawl from the 3rd floor down to the ground floor numerous times throughout the day! I usually get pretty emotional when I'm sick so an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition was all I needed to turn the water-works on haha!

The next day I was still unwell and worked from home. I kept the rest of the week pretty relaxed and didn't get up to much.