Home Sweet Home?

There is no doubt that beginning and ending an extended stay abroad is an emotional roller-coaster. Leaving your home country for an unknown life on the other side of the world is filled with excitement, anticipation & nerves, on top of a stack of life admin. But it’s all built on a foundation of adventure. Returning however, is not built on that same foundation; repatriation is almost more daunting than originally leaving. Anyone who sets off on such an adventure knows deep down that eventually this comes at a cost. All of a sudden you have two lives, two homes, and two lots of friends. And there will come a time when you have to make a long term commitment to either one or the other.

Knowing all along that I had a limited time, “what next?” was always on my mind. I constantly wondered whether I should/wanted to ask about sponsorship. I did know that whatever I chose to do following my two years would be a long term decision. I wasn't going to pursue extending for just another year. It was probably a good thing I had an expiry date which couldn't be extended easily, because it forced me to make a decision I didn't particularly want to make.    

For many wonderful reasons, Australia was my long term decision. So when two years were up, it was time to go. I wasn't ready. I had a happy little London life that I didn't want to change. I knew coming back was going to be hard and I was in denial for a while. I put off making arrangements and my London friends were about as interested in talking about it as I was. The best way I can explain it that initially, you expect to get back and feel like you’re home. But you don’t. You feel weird, foreign, out of place and homesick for the place you left. It’s a total reverse culture shock.

People expect you to be excited. Some think it should feel the same as returning from a holiday. And you feel bad for not showing a huge amount of enthusiasm straight up. For the first week I couldn't answer people's questions about how I feel without tears welling up. It got me wondering why I haven’t really heard past travellers talk about their own repatriation blues. Was it that they felt like it might hurt the people they've returned to by talking about how much they miss their old life on the other side of the world? Or maybe they just knew that unless you've done it, you don’t get it.

When my brother returned from Fiji after six months, all he wanted to do was sit on the floor to eat his dinner. This got me thinking… the more different the two places, the harder it probably is to settle back in. One of my biggest struggles so far is that I can’t get by without a car. I got used to solely relying on an excellent and extensive public transport network. 

It’s early days for me so I'm still searching for a way to talk about and look back on my London life without feeling the pangs of homesickness and whether I made the right choice. So far this is my best advice:

•  Don’t idolise either place because both have their flaws. It’s easy to remember the best of the place where you are not and the worst of the place where you are
• If you are planning to return, keep in good contact with the people you are close to back home as you will feel less like a stranger when you do go back
• Keep yourself busy with enjoyable activities and explore your new/old home like any other new arrival
• Try not to shut out or avoid hearing about what is happening in the place you left. Look at your pictures, talk about your time away and keep in contact with the people you became close to
•  Do your best to start establishing your new lifestyle as soon as you can. I am job-hunting at the moment and don't have a permanent home yet but as I'm sure that time will come I keep myself busy with fitness, catching up on two years of life with people, helping out family and friends where I can and staying up to date with my industry and professional knowledge   
• And if you are struggling, talk about it, don’t bottle it up

As a good friend of mine says, "is what it is", and my my father brought me up to live by the motto "it's not what happens to you, it's what you do about it". So I keep this in mind as I enter this new chapter and am grateful for and excited about the opportunity to really start afresh in my own city.

Maybe you’re thinking of setting off on an adventure of your own; maybe you have done and chose to stay, or like me returned to your motherland; maybe you are reaching the end of your adventure and preparing to repatriate; or maybe you are mid-adventure and have no idea what you want to do. What I have noticed in people who have spent extended time abroad, there are two common denominators – 1) the person that returns is very different from the person that left (usually for the better), and 2) regardless of how it has or might eventuate, there is rarely regret in the initial decision to go. I would say it was the best decision I ever made.

If you have repatriated, I’d love to hear your ways of coping … 

12 little things I won't miss about life in the UK

Just like I mentioned in my last post, part of the adventure of living on the other side of the world is adjusting to little everyday differences from home. When I was compiling my list of little loves and little loathes, it was much easier to think of the things I would miss over the things I wouldn't. Nevertheless, no place is perfect and there are some things about my UK life that I won't be sad to see the back of...

1. Dog poo & spit – If you ask me what I saw in London over the last two years, don’t be surprised if I say “not a lot, just footpaths really”. Because there are two filthy habits (i.e. spitting and not cleaning up after your dog) that cause me to constantly stare at the ground as I make my way through a minefield of gollies & poop.

2. News coverage – You know in Australia when you watch the news, you get news, sport and weather together. Over here, the news reports are usually limited to a few domestic stories, and there is often no sport report at all (especially on breakfast TV)! Obviously weather gets a big focus because it’s a bit of an obsession in Britain. But as a sport lover, I've found I have to seek out sport news, fixtures, results and details myself. E.g. The Ashes are on at the moment and unless you’re interested, you could easily avoid hearing about it.

3. British milk and beef – I used to love milk in Oz. I could easily drink a big glass on its own. But I find full cream here is thicker and creamier than Aussie whole milk, and semi-skimmed is too watery and not as nice. British beef (unless you go to a good restaurant) is just plain rubbish! Beef mince is awful and there’s basically no such thing as a beef sausage. The number one food I want when I get home is a beef sausage from our local butcher.

4. 6^th vs 6^th – Sixth [siksth] The ordinal number for six; one of six parts. Why is this even an issue? Because people don’t pronounce it properly! The correct phonetic spelling of 6th is siksth. That means you say six and then add th on the end, so six-th. There should be an S sound in the middle of the word.  It’s not sick-th!

5. Cool drinks – Sure the UK is not the warmest of places, but when I buy a cold drink, I still want it to be cold. Nothing worse than a coolish coke. They should be cold enough to produce condensation. Drink fridges have no doors on them so cold drinks are only ever cool at best, especially unsatisfying on the odd occasion when it’s actually warm.

6. Good weather hype – When a lovely day becomes headline news and the main topic of conversation I realise how much I took sunshine and Sydney weather for granted. While it’s nice to get excited about great weather, I won’t miss that mentality; I’d rather just have nice weather more often.

7. Phone reception – As soon as you enter many buildings you can say goodbye to phone reception! I'm pretty sure this isn't just my service provider because no one in our office gets a good signal.

8. Monthly pay – In Australia, fortnightly pay is the standard, whereas monthly pay is the norm over here. In my case it was the last Friday of the month. So first of all you have to be pretty good at budgeting to stretch your money evenly over 4 weeks. But then every few months, the pay period would be 5 weeks! Those were tough months.

9. A few things in my flat – I love my little homely flat I've shared with Kaitlin and Chloe, but there are a few things that annoy all of us, like the shower and the kitchen bench-tops and the fact that our plates don’t fit in our (now kaput) microwave.

10. Sunshine hours in winter – During the winter the sun rises at about 8:30am and sets at 4pm. This means that unless I went outside at lunch I could go through a working week having barely seen daylight!

11. Hard water – You often hear people talking about London water being quite hard. My hair hasn't coped well. It’s seemed really difficult to get clean and used to be super soft and dead straight. Now it’s not as soft and kinda frizzy if I don’t blow dry or straighten it.

12. The doorbell at work – My office was part of two buildings - #14 & #15. Reception is at #15 where all visitors need to register, except ours because we had a doorbell (with our logo on it). The following would happen numerous times every day... Doorbell rings. Get up to answer the door. Either no one is there (because AFTER they ring the bell, they read the sign that says go to #15) OR someone is there (who didn't read the sign at all) and asks for so&so from xyz! Staff at #14 know to tell their visitors to go to #15 so it used to really infuriate me, probably more than I should have let it to be honest.

They’re all quite trivial really, and none of them make me want to pack up and leave. However, I am packing up and leaving… in 3 days! Seems weird to end my UK blog on this note. But I'm sure you can tell from all my other stories that I'm not leaving on a low. Coming here was the best decision I ever made. And I think this blog will continue as the next chapter begins. My only regret is calling it Tania in the UK. Stay tuned for more stories. I might even catch up on a few of the adventures I haven't yet written down.

Until then... xoxo

12 little things I will miss about life in the UK

Life over the last 2 years has of course been an adventure, which is now sadly coming to an end. Part of the adventure is loving and loathing the small differences between everyday life in two different places. When we go away for a short or long period of time it's sometimes surprising how much those little things seem to matter. The following list contains the small, everyday things I will miss most about my life in the UK.

1. Football at the right time of day – I get back to Australia on the first day of the 13/14 English Premier League. And so begins life as a fan of a sport I can only watch live when I should be sleeping. Sadly, no more afternoons down at Stamford Bridge or The Famous Three Kings in West Kensington. I’ll have to settle with the highlights show down at the pub on a Monday night with Dad and the occasional middle of the night live stream.

2. Queen's Club Gardens garden – The last year I've been living in a residential square with a communal garden in the middle. When summer finally arrived, there was no better place to be than the residents’ garden – quiet, private, picturesque, speculating about the lives of the fellow residents, and best of all only one minute away from a clean bathroom and fully stocked fridge.

3. Off Licenses - Sometimes I just want one cider, or my house decides to share a hard earned bottle of wine in the evening… no problem, just a short walk down to the local corner store. And it's cheap! Can’t do that in Australia.

4. Oyster Cards – How great is it having a little card that you can top up any time and then swipe at any train station or on any bus. No paper tickets, just swipe and go. Can’t believe Sydney still doesn't have one of these.

5. The lack of creepy crawlies – It's no secret I'm terrified of spiders. There have been two small incidences with large (by UK standards) arachnids, but nothing like a lost huntsman in your car. I went to Derby recently and met my friend Amy’s five year old nephew Archie, who had no interest in going to Australia "because they have dangerous spiders there". Fair call mate, fair call. 

6. Different style night venues – I love the variety of nights out you can have in London…. feeling like partying to those songs that everyone secretly loves? Try Guilty Pleasures at KOKO or Club de Fromage. If you’re interested in intense trancy music, then Fabric is brilliant. And there are a load of traditional English pubs, intimate wine bars and trendy cocktails bars to suit all tastes. So basically, what I need is an investor to help me open up the ultimate venue in Sydney which changes theme and style each night.

7. Free lunch – If there are approximately 4 weeks in a month, 5 working days per week, and you spend £5 per day on lunch, that’s £100 per month… just for lunch! So imagine my delight at finding out that I could have free lunch every day down at one of our hotel’s staff canteens! The food was hit and miss (especially for gluten free requirements) but I can’t complain, it’s free lunch innit.

8. Sunshine hours in summer – At the longest point in summer the daylight hours go from about 4:30am until approximately 10:30pm! So many hours of sunshine to enjoy (when it’s not hiding behind clouds). The only downside is the feeling of dread when you're having a big night and are not home before it starts to show for a new day. I find that kinda depressing.

9. 4Music – I suffer from a little known condition called Musical Dementia. I basically have an inability to recall what a song sounds like from its title, who the artist is or what songs an artists does. Over the last 2 years I have been working very diligently to combat thisand a lot of it is thanks to 4Music! I usually have it on all weekend while I'm home and Sunday mornings are always great for a cracking countdown… such as the top ballads of the 90’s, top girl hits of the 00’s, 50 songs we all secretly love… etc. 

10. Exposure to accents – Having studied languages, accents are a big fascination of mine. The fact that Liverpool and Manchester are just 30 miles apart and have distinctly different accents astounds me. The Essex accent is hilarious and Welsh is quite musical. It took me quite a while but I think I can now correctly identify most of the unique accents across Britain. 

11. Using multiple cards to pay in a restaurant – You know in Australia, when you go out for dinner with friends and there’s always that dreaded part at the end where everyone needs the right amount of cash, or all but one pay cash and then one person puts the lot on their card? Not the case here. Going out for dinner with five friends and all of you need to pay with card? No problem! Six separate transactions at the table, each person paying their required amount! Incredible. 

12. Perfect queues – For someone who likes procedure & organisation, and shudders at crowds, a good queue restores all of my stress levels back to normal. And don't the Brits know how to queue! So polite and fair. When the Prince George was born, I wanted to go down to the Palace to get a look at the announcement. The only thing stopping me was the people crush I had seen on the news the night it was put on display. By the next morning when I arrived, there were two perfect lines, moving steadily and efficiently. I was so relieved! 

As I begin to pack my things, say goodbyes and close accounts, there will be many young Aussies preparing to embark on the same exciting adventure I began two years ago. Each experience will be different but I hope they can all have a positive experience of fun, adventure, learning, growing and finding their own little things they love... and hate. My list of things I won't miss coming up next...