Social Media: Facebook Part 2

As you would have seen by part 1, I get pretty passionate about the way people should and shouldn't use Facebook. Here we go with part 2, continuing with more do’s and don’ts (ok, don’ts).

Work – People need to be more wary about commenting about their job/employer. I never post comments about my job, unless I have something positive to say. First of all, if it’s that bad, do something about it. But most of all, you are putting information out there that may get you into a lot of trouble so be careful. As well as this, you just never know who might stumble across photos of what you got up to on Saturday night… again, be careful!

Facebook fishing – Yep, it’s a term, and it refers to writing a mysterious or ’woe is me’ status alluding to the fact you may share if someone comments with ‘what’s up hun?’. I can categorically guarantee you that I will never take the bait. “OMG I’m so excited about the news I just heard!”, “Why do people have to be so horrible?”, “ :( ”…. I get just as fired up when I see people fall prey with the likes of “are you ok?”, “what happened?!” and “call me”. I was discussing this recently with a friend and she reminded me of another type of Facebook fishing, fishing for compliments. She is Facebook friends with an old school mate who posted a photo of a letter one of her students gave her saying how amazing she was. I also had a friend who posted an album of her new breasts! And of course the comments followed “OMG you look amazing”. Have we developed a heightened sense of self-worth? Alternatively, is it making us more insecure when we don’t get the notifications we wanted?  

Game requests – I'm not going to lie, I do feel a little special when I see that little red icon notifying me that someone has connected in some way. Unfortunately, sometimes that little red icon means that *name wants to send me a goat from Farmville or is inviting me to play Bubble Safari! I don’t care about your virtual farm, café or similar. Play your game and keep me out of it!

Responding to status with a completely unrelated comment – You've just written something profound, entertaining, controversial and someone comments “hey hun, looking forward to seeing you on Saturday?”. Imagine if that conversation happened in person “what do you think about global warming?” “Saturday is going to be well awesome!”. Sorry, what just happened there?  

Play-by-play – Facebook shouldn't interrupt life as it happens. Tell me about it later, put your phone away so you can experience the moment thoroughly and enjoy it! What you chose for entrée, main and dessert as you chose it isn't necessary. Also, how do you think your companions feel? You obviously think it’s quality time worth telling about, so why disrespect the people you’re sharing it with by giving your attention to the possibility of that little red icon? Is the icon more important than the activity? Or maybe it’s not quality time, you've just become addicted to your online life and have let it take priority over your real one.

Stop boring everybody! - So you've got nothing interesting to say, you're bored, you're doing something we all regularly do (e.g. heading to bed, going for a shower, “hi ho hi ho, it’s off to work I go”). If you’re bored, why bore the rest of us? This particular one really concerns me because it indicates the addiction thing again.

Right, final topic. The one which fires me up the most. The, without a doubt most irritating thing on Facebook, in my opinion...

Too much information! And it’s one demographic who seems to be the worst offenders. Mothers of babies or young children. You might ponder that I'm just bitter that I'm not part of this demographic. Not true. I love babies and children, how couldn't I with the 2 nephews and 3 nieces I have? What I do have a problem with is the content that is being shared. I'm probably biased but my sister proves that it’s possible to have children and an interesting Facebook page that doesn't push the boundaries of appropriateness. I kid you not the following have appeared on my news feed:
• Photos of yourself in your underwear, displaying your growing tummy
• “Peppermint tea! Who’d have thought it would interfere with my milk supply!”
• “*Name, I know sleeping with my nipple in your mouth must be nice, but it’s not working for me”
• “How cute is boobing *name” including photographic evidence
• “Tired… kid had 21 boobs last night”
• “*Name has woken up with a dry nappy 4 nights in a row and asked me tonight if he can not wear one… I’ll be getting him up for wees before I head to bed…” – this actually continued on a further few sentences
• “What an explosion! Poop up to *name’s arms! Fun!”
• Photographic evidence of a nappy changing accident on a pair of trousers
• “So proud! *Name did his first wee on the big toilet… “ – continued with an essay of exactly what happened
• Photos of a newborn fresh into the world with all the grossness still all over it
And finally…
• “Got sprayed with amniotic fluid” – INCLUDING PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE! I KID YOU NOT!

Just because a young person is involved, it doesn't make it acceptable to share the above, or anything similar! One day I'm going to snap and photograph myself in the bathroom, post it and write “Look, I'm on the loo! Aren't I cute?!” I don’t think my targets would get it. I think this blog has bought me some time before I do eventually snap and stick up for the rest of us Facebook etiquette abiding citizens. To be honest, it’s more than likely I’ll just hide you. My ‘people you've hidden’ list is actually predominantly over-sharing mothers.
Seems we have a problem with filters. I had surgery recently to remove a little benign thing and definitely lost a little dignity. I couldn't tell you how many people have seen me with my shirt off! IN A CLINIC! The key is dropping your dignity off at the door and picking it back up when you leave. Yes, it is possible.

As one of my colleagues says, if you wouldn't say or show it to my face, then think again if it’s actually worth it and more importantly appropriate.

Well, this has been a good therapy session for me. Thanks for lending a listening ear (or eye). I don’t think this is going to make much of a difference though. I really think it’s going to be up to that celebrity team I mentioned in part 1. If anything, I've probably pointed out things you hadn't noticed that will now annoy you. Whoops! :)

Social Media: Facebook Part 1

This blog (ok, rant) has been a long time coming. Just ask Jackie Blue, Jenny Ransley or Haylo Watts. I often write comments that are probably a little too rude or controversial for actual Facebook in the form of a text message to them, accompanied by a screen shot of the offending Facebooker’s post. And my thoughts are so chunky I’ve had to split my guide (ok, rant) into two parts! In this world where digital socialising is just part of every-day life, I feel like we need more than unwritten vague ideas about how to behave. There needs to be an official ‘Rules of Facebook etiquette' book. And it should be policed! Happy to volunteer for that role. It should be written and published by a collection of people representing a range of demographics; people who will give it the most exposure. I’m going to suggest an epic team including Lady Gaga, Oprah Winfrey, One Direction, Megan Fox and Barrack Obama. Actually I should probably throw Mitt Romney into that mix to get all of America on-side. In the meantime I’m going to get started. Apologies if you find you are one of the offenders in my rant. Actually, let’s be honest, I’m not sorry at all.

The MOST IMPORTANT RULE for Facebook is, it’s not supposed to replace actual human interaction! It’s a way to share life experiences, it’s not life itself! When your Facebook life is more active than your actual life, it’s time to sit back and reassess. So go and get a life! Literally! Then tell me about it.    

Tagging – I don’t like being tagged in photos I’m not in. Tag me in a comment if you want to bring my attention to it but not the photo itself. This is just me being anal and correct but the ‘photos of me’ folder is called that for a reason. I’d rather keep it that way. I will untag myself. This does open up the little can of worms that is children. I can understand why some people may want to be tagged in photos of their children. I think in this case, it’s up to the individual. Obviously, not something I have to think about at this point in time.

Weather – “rain rain go away, come again another day”, “spring has sprung”, “hello summer” … Not only are these comments unoriginal and boring, but everyone else knows what Mother Nature is up to! Funnily enough, we’re in it too! Weird huh?!

Politics – Personally, I don’t think social networking sites are the best forum for political discussions. In fact, there are few social settings where I find it an appropriate topic of conversation. If you are going to get into debates though, please be respectful. Likewise, extreme religious views should be reserved for less public domains. After Bin Laden's death, I was disgusted by the comments that appeared on my news feed by people who officially fall under the same "religious" banner as me. But then I guess if your views are extreme, where you communicate them is probably not your priority.    

Grammar - Having studied languages, I’m really anal about getting it right. Not that I am error-free. I definitely make mistakes, usually typos. But it’s not typos I’m referring to. I could write a whole post about grammar alone but I think possibly Andy (my brother who has also studied linguistics) would be the only person to be fascinated by every word and use of punctuation. Instead, I’m going to highlight the three most common errors:

• Changing your status mid-sentence from 3rd to 1st person. First of all, Facebook dropped the ‘is’ after your name years ago so there should be no more 3rd person speak at all. If you must do it, please please please keep it in 3rd person. There’s nothing more annoying than reading “*name is enjoying the lasagna my mum cooked for me”. Technically, that post means Facebook’s mum cooked Facebook a lasagna and *name is enjoying watching Facebook eat said lasagna. Ok, there are definitely more annoying things, but it does annoy me more than is probably necessary. 
• Then vs than. Completely different words. Poor ol’ ‘than’ tends to be the victim, ‘then’ too often being an incorrect choice. Are you comparing one thing to another? It’s thAn! It’s so much hotter today thAn yesterday. Actually don’t write that, remember what I said about the weather? 
• Your vs you're. You hope my well is what?! I don’t get why so many get it wrong. You’re is a shortened version of YOU ARE; your refers to something belonging to the person you’re (you are) speaking to. 

Lovey-dovey business – Right, you’ve got a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband… happy for you. But please, leave the ‘get me a bucket’ stuff private. Your "baby" did not just graduate and sorry to tell you, nobody else wants to see you write love messages on each other’s wall. I especially hate it when people write messages to their ‘schnookums’ saying something that they would obviously have said in person, but put it on Facebook so that everyone else can see them saying it. e.g. "happy anniversary to my gorgeous baby *name… you are the love of my life and ...". Get a room! And don't post from it!

That’s literally only half of what I have to say… I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did letting it all out. I feel so much better now. I’d love to hear any thoughts about your Facebook experiences. What you love; what you hate etc. Stay tuned for part two, coming soon!

Social Media: Twitter

Right, the next three blogposts are going to branch off the travels and UK life. I've been thinking about this for a while so I'm writing about my thoughts on Social Media, mainly Facebook and Twitter. Basically it's going to be a massive rant about the things that absolutely drive me bonkers when it comes to online networking.

TWITTER
Turns out I do have a lot to say about Twitter. I was going to tack it onto the end of my Facebook rant but then it seemed that I had more to let out than I realised. I haven’t been tweeting for very long so I'm no expert. Twitter confuses most first time users. First and most important rule – it’s not supposed to be a replacement for Facebook. Facebook is about connecting and staying in touch with friends. Twitter is a globally open commentary of what’s going on in the/your world.
News breaks first on Twitter. Literally. If you hear a rumour of breaking news, chances are, a lot of people are already tweeting about it. I once saw a massive queue in South Kensington. It stretched around a few blocks! I was on a bus and couldn't ask anyone so I searched South Kensington on Twitter. Unsurprisingly, French nationalists lining up to vote at the embassy were tweeting.
All of my tweets will generally be to someone or contain a hashtag i.e. a way for people to search for tweets that have a common topic, to begin a conversation (e.g. #thingsthatconfuseme), or relate to an on trend topic (e.g. the Closing Ceremony). If I follow you on Twitter and we’re friends on FB I’ll unfollow if you use them the same way. Actually the best example of using Twitter like Facebook is, I'm sorry to say, one of my favourite musicians. She has sometimes even done what should never have been made possible and linked the two so the same thing appears on each.
Yes, I follow celebrities. I don’t do it to see what perfume I should be wearing (not that I wear it, it makes me sneeze, bad example). They’re people I think either have something interesting to say; I want to keep track of in terms of what they’re doing in their career e.g. gigs, albums etc. or they're simply entertaining. The people I follow generally fall into one of the following categories:

• Comedians – Example: @adamhillscomedy - "Thanks to all who came to the recording of Mess Around tonight. It was the most fun pilot I've ever had #sentencethatsoundsweirdoutofcontext"  
• Musicians – Example: @coldplay - "You can now pre-order the upcoming #ColdplayLive2012 concert film / live album from Amazon at http://smarturl.it/coldplaylive2012 … A"
• Friends - Example: @HayloWatts - "@LiberalAus I would love to see positive news about the positive reasons to vote Liberal rather than Labor bashing - thank you!! :)"
• Travel industry & colleagues: @red_carnation - "It's Skabenga's birthday soon at the @OysterBox. As with all luxury cats he's having a party! #PresentsExpected"
• Pure entertainment: A few parody royals, an anti-joke-cat and the Big Ben who just tweets BONG. One of my favourites has still got to be @Charles_HRH - "Greek Prime Minister on the phone. Wants to know if one can "lend him a tenner". #sodoff"

So, that's about all I have to say about Twitter. Stay tuned for the next two posts... Facebook!